What do you want them to say about you?

I went to the funeral of a colleague today. His death was sudden, unexpected and feels unfair. Our entire community is reeling from the shock.

The service was beautiful with flowers and photos and so. Many. People. Hundreds of people came to pay their respects. There were stories and images of his adventures, successes, and family.  It was a service that told the story of a life well lived.

We often talk about living aligned with our values. I’ve said it. I’ve poured through lists of core values, picked a few words that resonate, and try to make decisions, large and small based on them. Somehow, sitting in that church, surrounded by grief and memories of a husband/father/doctor/innovator/adventurer, the importance of living each day unapologetically in alignment with your values became apparent in a much more down-to-earth way. I was struck by the words everyone used to describe him: the stories of his conquests, of his care, of his follies. Here was someone who lived an aligned life.

I had a moment of clarity: It’s a much more tangible way to think about alignment.

What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?

Do you want them to remember you as an innovator who wasn't afraid to try new things? A family person who showed up consistently? Someone who lit up every room they entered? A person who made everyone feel like the center of attention when they spoke with you?

The next question: What are you doing each day to become more like that person?

If you want to be remembered as generous, what small act of generosity can you do today? If you want to be the person who lifted others up, who are you going to encourage this week? If you want to be remembered as brave, what fear are you going to face?

At the end of each day, evaluate: Did you live in a way you were proud of today?  

The gap between who we want to be remembered as and who we are today—that's where the work lives. That's where alignment moves from fiction to the embodiment that others can see and notice.

A final, poignant reminder: Start today. You are not guaranteed tomorrow.