Speaking up when things get hard

I just got back from the Women Physician Wellness conference, and I’m still full of excitement and gratitude.  It was an incredible time; I got to connect with amazing, brilliant physician women. We learned together and exchanged ideas on how to manage and balance our busy lives.

While there, I had the opportunity to give a talk on conflict.

During that talk, I shared a story about a time I intentionally entered a conflict that I knew would be uncomfortable, but I thought was important. 

A woman came up to me afterwards and asked me if gender had anything to do with the situation. It probably had. I shared that. But that wasn’t the point of my example or my talk. I wanted to share tools that help a person control what they can- their thoughts and feelings; and still engage in these conversations. Even when tensions run high and things seem unfair. 

You see, sometimes we are working within the confines of a box. The rules of society, expectations of our culture, and power dynamics all define the limits of that box. We can be angry about it. We can work on bending or extending those walls. However, there are times that our goal is to navigate within the confines of that box, skillfully and gracefully.  

In the example I gave, my goal was to work within the situation I found myself in. I wanted to stay regulated during a conversation I was nervous and passionate about. 

Are there things in the world that need to be changed? Yes. Are things sometimes unfair? Absolutely. 

My hope, with my talk and this work, is that people will approach highly emotional conversations with greater composure and clarity. Imagine what could happen if we could all effectively and calmly discuss things we cared deeply about? What if that skill extended into our relationships, our workplaces, our communities and beyond?

We could be more productive.

More creative.

More connected. 

And that sounds pretty great to me. 

Wherever you’re at and whatever you’re doing, I hope you’re filled with gratitude and peace.  You are a leader. You are more powerful than you believe. 

Until next time!

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